Tag Archives: loser

A Dope(s) Life

Hey, what’s up ya’ll? Thanks for joining me on my journey putting my life as a heroin addict in written word to help me. To help me try and figure out where I went wrong in life and why a kid who never even got sent to the principals office and who had a promising life ahead of him as he was progressing threw and succeeding as he climbed his way up the corporate ladder and with every new job was taking a step forward till all of a sudden it was a succession of failures and fuck ups that he can only blame on himself and no one else. My name is Paul, I grew up in a beautiful city called Kirkland in the best place on earth the Greater Pacific North West. Kirkland was just a quiet sleepy fishing town on the opposite banks of lake Washington from the big bustling city of Seattle. This little town grew quickly and became quite affluent yet my parents where able to get in on the ground floor I guess you could say. They purchased a home in North Juanita neighborhood of Kirkland only minutes from the lake Washington shoreline for just under 100k for a little under 1500 sq ft 3 bedroom 2 story home to small for the family that lived in it but it made us the tight knit bunch that though we had differences loved each other and cared for each other more then anything else in the world. Yet as we got bigger and so did the city just like every other city across the country drugs found its way into my family mainly and solely me. I then systematically began to tear down everything my parents had worked so hard to build and provide for us. Well my sisters lives are what they make of it, I know I effect theirs negatively emotionally but they still progressed like the strong, smart, beautiful women that they are. I’d like to think I had a little to do with some of that but in reality I probably didn’t. I was one of the lucky few in this day and age that I had two parents that loved each other and their children and didn’t divorce when the going got tough. My mother was a by the books, follow the rules cause they are there for a reason type person and had a very successful career because of it. She enter the workforce at a young age with just a high school diploma in hand and started working for the government in Social Security office as a paralegal and finished her career making over six figures a running an entire office but it wasn’t easy it took a toll on her physically and mentally but she earned everything by working hard, and following the rules which took her step by step up the government ladder as a women which is not an easy thing to do. I admire her and look up to her tremendously and because of her and my dad and sisters I hold women in the highest regard and cherish and worship the ground they walk on. The women that I fall in love with are treated like goddesses and as such they can do no wrong which isn’t always the truth but hey I guess I’m a hopeless romantic in the age of where most women want a broken asshole who treats them like garbage while I get friend zoned. I guess because growing up my grandma was a huge parent of my life as was my grandpa for the short amount of time but they were old fashioned and raised me and instilled in me as such. I’ve always respected my elders, said my pleases and thanks you’d, and opened the doors for women. When today doing such can get you bitched out by a feminist who says she can open the damn door her got damn self and I ask did you also learn the English language “your got damn self” as well?. Lol. Sorry for the random tangent remember my brain is on drugs heroin and meth so I can be long winded at times and totally off topic and sporadic at others. So close the page if you can’t handle that or continue on if your interest is piqued. All I can promise you is I will be 100% honest with you and hopefully make you laugh, maybe shead a tear but don’t do it for me do it for the people’s lives I’ve ruined, cause there might be some truths revealed that could put me in jail or killed by outlaw drug lords or international gangs. Now back to my parents. By now you have an idea of what my mother was like and how I looked up to her. Well my father is no different. He grew up on the east coast in a strict catholic family to a single mother who had him out of wedlock. If you know anything about east coast catholic community then you know that their is no bigger sin then that yet my father and grandma were well accepted by the community and were quite up standing members of the community. My father an alter boy and my grandma an amazingly strong one legged Irish Catholic women who raised an amazing man all by herself when for the first part of my dads life my grandma had all but given up on her own and lay in a hospital bed after one leg was amputated she gave up living as my anther a new born bounced from aunt and uncle and cousins home to home to home until one day my dads uncle brought my father to the hospital and gave my grandma a reality check. He said Eileen you need to snap out of it stop feeling sorry for yourself and raise your son. Look at him he’s being bounced from home to home no stability. This young boy needs you, he needs you to raise him. My grandma the strong hard headed women that she was snapped out of it and raised my dad to be an amazing man who was an even better father to his kids while learning to be one as he went cause he didn’t have a father to watch and learn how to be one from. But he turned out to be the best damn father anyone could ever ask for. It’s defiantly nothing my parents did that made me take a 180 and head down this dark path that was the express lane to loser, low life scum bag ville that I took. That will hopefully reveal itself down the line as I talk about aspects of my life. My father had a good job during my adolescent years but he was laid off at a bad time which changed my family’s trajectory quite a bit but it didn’t slow my parents down they adjusted and made the best out of it. My dad tried to gain financial freedom by starting his own company which as a young boy I watched him try idea after idea that never got off the ground and saw the toll it took on him. To this day it breaks my heart he never succeeded but he found his niche with the biggest electronic corporation in the world and worked his way up from the hot warehouse to an air conditioned office in the same building but on the otheside of the wall until he bumped his bald head on a glass ceiling which ment he rose as high as his white skin would take him in this japenese owned and opporated company would allow. But he made big waves and installed a system that he created when he first started for organizing tiny parts in a ginormous warehouse that was so efficient and productive that the company implemented his system in every warehouse around the world and sent him to places he never could imagine to go to only 10yrs earlier. It inspired me as an 18 yr old to do the same in my first office job where I instilled a more efficient and productive way of distributing my companies product to its end users that is still in use today 12yrs later very efficiently but the numbers I produced plus the near non existent error margin will never be replicated but can be close. Nothing’s better then the real thing baby. Hahaha. Jk. I’m sure who ever is doing now is doing it better just not with my style. Lol.
Well if you made it this far there must be something wrong with you but thank you. Now you kinda know where I came from and the two individuals who gave me life and what makes them tick. Hopefully my next post will be much more entertaining. Also be prepared for sporadic stories and timeline jumps while my drug addled brain remembers events that brought me to where I am today. 
Thank you pls like, subscribe and comment. Oh yeah yes I kno I have tons of run on sentences and misspelled words. I’m high as fuck right now you jack ass. Plus my mind works analytically not artistically or creative. Language art was my worst subject, math and science were my easy classes, writing I struggled in due to all but one of my teachers pidgeoned holed me and stereo typed me and never gave me the help I needed due to the fact I had the same writing teacher all my 7,8,9 grades and when I hit high school I was already far behind my classmates.